Dealing With Loneliness: ___Conquer Loneliness___--Right Now--

Conquer LonelinessYou can overcome loneliness and be happier easier than you may think. 
The trick is to know why you are lonely. 
Then you can customize a specific strategy for resolving your loneliness. 
Don't fall for vague or general solutions that won't work.

 ___Reasons For Loneliness__

 1. Depression. Let's say your loneliness stems from depression. If you have a history of depression or you've been feeling depressed for a while, your depression is probably keeping you lonely. It can be hard to make friends when you're down in the dumps. Depressed people see things negatively and think in pessimistic terms. Thus your depression is not going to make you appear attractive to others.

2. Low self-esteem. If you lack confidence and don't believe in yourself, others will pick up on it... and they may just avoid you. You may be a wonderful person, but if you give off a "loser" vibe, you'll drive potential friends away.

3. A poor relationship history. If you have suffered through a series of bad relationships, you may have acquired poor relationship skills or become jaundiced about relationships. May be an abusive relationship has traumatized you. So you'll find it harder to overcome loneliness than most people.

4. Controlling Behavior. If you are a control freak, you will have more failures than successes in the social arena. People don't like to be controlled and will avoid forming close ties with anyone who seems like the controlling type.

__Some Solutions__: --How to Overcome Loneliness--

1. Deal with your depression and you will immediately become more desirable in the eyes of others. No one wants to be around a boring, grumpy or unhappy person. As soon as you feel a little better, you'll put a genuine smile on your face and look your best. You'll be a more engaging and interesting person to be around! Try getting some therapy or taking medication to help cure your depression. You'll feel happier soon. 

2. An anger problem can stress out friends, relatives and associates, and put them at a distance. Anger only pushes people away. You can help an anger problem by joining an anger group, reading a good self-help work book on anger or getting individual therapy. Keep in mind: anger isn't always easy to change. I think of it as an addiction. Dealing with an anger problem will help you to overcome loneliness and be happier.

3. Low self-esteem or a poor self-concept can be the kiss of death when it comes to making friends and influencing people. Those with a self-esteem problem tend to attract the wrong kind of friends or come across as rather uninteresting. Fix the problem by getting accurate and reliable feedback from people who care about you. Learn to see yourself in a more optimistic fashion. And get involved in a variety of activities in which you can be successful, which will raise your self-esteem. 

4. Learning from your mistakes is the best way to move on from a bad relationship(s). Evaluate yourself and decide what you did wrong in previous relationships. Aim higher in the next one and don't repeat the same mistakes. Improve or build one good relationship as a first step toward reaching your goal of being happier and more fulfilled.

5. Whatever you do, stop controlling people. Controlling behaviors will not serve to keep you from getting hurt or ensure you get the love you desire. Actually the opposite is true. If you control people you will drive them away, and you'll be even lonelier. Fear and love do not go hand in hand. Dominating others will only create resentment. Stop trying to force your relationships and muster the courage to yield to others. You'll be happier in the end, live longer and enjoy a more fulfilled life at home and work.

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