--7--Tips Enhancing Your Sex Life In Pregnancy and After Birth

Pregnancy, Birth and Sex Life

For men and women alike there can be much anxiety around changes in your sex life once you become pregnant and after baby is born. You have been used to a particular level of enjoyment or a particular rhythm and don't want that to change.

In general, we humans don't seek out change because we believe that our current situation is better than what might emerge. But the changes that are coming up now during pregnancy and after baby's birth arise from a deep place within and can actually lead you to way more joy in your sex life.

- Pregnancy and Birth - 

7 Ways to Support Your Sex Life When You Are Pregnant and When Baby is Born

Understand Your Responsibility In Sex
Firstly, it is important to remember that you are not responsible for your partner or meeting the sexual needs of your partner.
Women often experience guilt during pregnancy or when breastfeeding if they are not as sexually active as before. However, this comes from the flawed idea (often hidden in the recesses of our mind) that it is a woman's duty to satisfy her partner.
In sex as in every other area, each of us is responsible for managing our own feelings (our vibration). Just remembering that fact can be very good for your sex life.
Realising that you are responsible for you and your partner is responsible for him/herself empowers both of you and opens the door to a much more joyful sex life.

Intend That Your Sex Life Improves
Decide that regardless of how it appears, the process you are going through will actually nourish and enhance your sex life and your love for each other. Talk about this with your partner and you can both visualise a much richer expression of intimacy and love.
In the same way as you don't really 'know' how your body is supporting this new life, you don't have to 'know' exactly how your relationship can be enhanced. Just trust that it is.

Be Open to Changes in your Sex Life.
Many of us observe a different rhythm with regard to our sexual needs during pregnancy and after birth. (Different doesn't necessarily mean less). Just allow what ever comes up to be.
Don't try to be something else or don't expect your partner to be something else. Often it is our resistance to the new that causes the pain. So just relax into what is happening for you.

Modeling To Your Baby
Discuss with your partner the messages you want to pass on to your unborn child or new baby. For example, if you both want your baby to be able to honour his or her own needs, you can start modelling that now in your sex life.
This means that it is acceptable for both of you to ask for what you want without judgement. And...it is alright for both to respond truthfully knowing that you are still loved, worthy of love and lovable.

Tenderness Independent of Sex
Make room for lots of love and tenderness independent of sex. So you might start the day for example with naked cuddles in which the goal is just to enjoy each other's bodies and connect in love.

Big Yes v Small Yes
Sometimes you may not be interested in intercourse when your partner is, but you are open to loving in other ways. John Gray (Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) suggests having a little candle and a big candle beside the bed (one on each side).
A big candle indicates 'Yes, I feel like making love/ having sex'. A little candle communicates 'I am not in the mood for sex but I am happy to play around (give you a hand)'.

Listen to Your Inner Wisdom
Remember that when you are pregnant and feeding you are particularly connected to a deep wisdom within you. Embrace whatever comes up for you as an expression of your goddess energy...the sacred feminine within you.
As you do so, your partner finds it much easier to step into his sacred masculine and the relationship (including sex) is elevated to a whole new level of fulfilment and satisfaction for you both.

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